i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
