Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All the doctor said was why
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
