People in love make me want to vomit
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
