im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
