I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
