Its about making memories worth repressing
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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