Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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