belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
