rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
