You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
