no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
