Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
