i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
