You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
