I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize