under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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