I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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