He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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