Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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