Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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