i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i now understand why vodka
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize