I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
