White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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