i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
