i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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