We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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