so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
