At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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