You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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