Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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