I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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