Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love you. Go after that dick
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
