just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My ass is underappreciated
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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