Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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