The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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