Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
