I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Randomize
