I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
