I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
