I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
