guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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