You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
