Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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