the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
