Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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