so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
