I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize