We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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