Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Vodka?
Forever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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