I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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