I think I died a long time ago.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
