I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
