I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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