Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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