I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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