is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
