help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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