sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize