If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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