I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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