sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
