sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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