Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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(315): View more from New York

I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.

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(530): View more from California

I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We should reintroduce naked Mondays

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(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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(561): View more from Florida

I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you

(860): View more from Connecticut

I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.

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(303): View more from Colorado

And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn

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