you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
